Peaches and Cream
by The JohhnyMcKilt Productions
Summary: Kai teaches Rei how to make peaches'ndcream so the nekojin could make it for Bryan on his birthday. Trouble is...Bryan misunderstands the situation and thinks Kai's teaching Rei how to jack off...


A/N: wahoo! This is my first evah ReixBry! Enjoy yourselves! …oh yeah…if y'all wondering about the birthday, it's the one I know…keep that in mind, thanks

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing…

**Peaches and Cream**

**One-shot**

NOVEMBER 20

"…so she said, 'I want twelve panties…one for January, February, March….'" And Kai broke into pleas of laughter.

He was talking on the phone, lounging in his room. "…well I don't care if it's friggin' cold there…I'm going to take a bath every. Single. Dammed. Day." He nodded a couple of times as the person on the other phone babbled a bit. "Oh fine…all right. Bye." And he was about to put his cell phone away when…

Knock. Knock.

"Who's there?"

"It's Rei…"

"Rei? Rei who?"

"KAI!" the exparated neko-jin yelled, followed by light chuckles from a

certain blue-haired Russian as he opened the door.

"What do you want?" he asked.

Rei hastily shut the door behind him, which Kai raised an eyebrow to.

"Hey…d'you remember when you…uh…made Max that strawberries 'nd cream because he was crying about their fight with Takao?"

"Kon, that was just two days ago…how could I forget?" Kai answered.

FLASHBACK

Max was buried under a pile of snotty, tear-stained Kleenex while Rei tried to console him. The two were in the kitchen.

"Did you see the look on his face?" their normally bouncy friend sobbed. "That cheating bastard…" he bawled again, blowing his freckled nose like a frog-horn.

"Oh Max…it's…it's okay…" Rei cooed, stroking his back.

Max sniffed again and incoherently wailed more of Takao's adulterous sins, occasionally crying and blowing his nose.

Kai came in and pushed a very large bowl of strawberries and cream across the kitchen table, the sound causing the two teens to look up.

"What d'you wa—" Max snapped sourly but stopped short when he spotted the dessert. Rei's eyes widened.

"Eat that…" Kai said patting Max's fluffy head. "You'll get over it…" he said a bit indifferently and turned away, leaving Rei to comfort the blonde as he watched from the kitchen counter.

Max resumed his crying (even louder) and the Chinese increased his comforting, looking at the dessert with some longing.

"Eat it Max," he said, indicating to it. "You'll feel better…"

Max sniffed a couple as Rei reached for the bowl and pushed it toward him.

"Agh MAX!" he exclaimed as the American literally dunked his head in it.

END FLASHBACK

"Couldyouteachmehowtomakestrawberriesandcream?" Rei asked

Kai looked at him. "…Why?"

The Chinese boy blushed. "I wanted to…it's for a birthday gift. Since we aren't competing anytime soon…I thought…"

"Spill Kon…" butted a stern command.

Rei looked at Kai and took a deep breath before confessing his feelings about a certain tall, sadistic (don't ask) Russian whom we all know and love…

Kai couldn't help laughing a bit. "Nice timing…if you want I could arrange we go to Russia tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!" Rei yelled, alarmed by the short notice.

"Yes…" Kai nodded, as if it was perfectly normal for him to fly from wherever he was to Russia anytime. "We'd be there two days before the…big day. Just enough time for Tala to get over the shock." He smirked.

"But what about Max?" asked Rei, deeply concerned for the welfare of his bouncy friend.

"Those two'll need some alone time to settle their relationship," Kai said, looking for a big bag. "Don't worry," he reassured. "…and get packing."

Rei stood there for a minute or two before breaking into a huge smile.

"Thanks Kai, I owe you one…" and he rushed out the door.

NOVEMBER 21

"Kai! You're here early…" Tala answered the door of the Hiwatari Estate the Blitzkrieg were currently staying in.

"Surprise…" he smiled…then soon frowned after having the redhead stare at him for two full minutes.

Rei peeked out from behind Kai's shoulder and Tala finally moved.

"Rei! What brings you here?" He looked at Kai. "What DID bring him here?"

He was silent for a moment, having not prepared anything to say about his arrival. "Erm…"

"He's having a problem…" Kai filled in.

"About?" Tala asked, looking from his lover to his lover's friend.

Kai smirked. "He's in love with Bryan…" he told him in Russian.

Tala grinned and stepped aside to let them in. "You could've called he first…" he said in English, so that Rei could understand.

"I don't care about see you guys' usual junk…" Kai said helping Rei with luggage. "Or…more of the usual junk." He added, spotting the living room.

"What did you tell him?" Rei asked frowning once he and Kai were going down the hall to the spare rooms. He was suspicious of Tala's sudden agreeing to let them in.

"Don't worry, I didn't tell him." Kai lied.

"Then what did you say?" the other hissed.

"I needed a SNS with him…"

Rei was stunned at the answer.

NOVEMBER 22

"Y'need help?" Kai asked, looking at Rei uneasily as the neko-jin carried 4 gallons of ice cream.

"No I'm fine…" he replied, watching Kai adjust 2 big grocery bags of fruits. "I don't see why we need to buy peaches…"

"It's…It's Tala who likes the strawberries…" Kai informed him. "Byran, however, likes peaches…"

"Oh…" said Rei and grew quiet as they walked back to the estate.

'Why is his birthday a two-day celebration?" he asked Kai after a while.

"He likes it that way…" the other replied. "Oh yeah…I forgot Ian and Spencer are planning to mix a gin fizz and a Purple Comso…dammnit…" he added more to himself than his companion.

"Did you forget anything?" asked Rei.

"N-nyet" Kai shook his head. "They could get it themselves."

--

Bryan was passing by the kitchen on his way to the TV room where him and the boys were having an FMA marathon.

"I'll teach you how to do strawberries and cream first, you could do it with that later…" came Kai voice from in the kitchen and Bryan stopped to listen.

"Bryan what are you doing? Bathroom's over here!" Tala called from the end of the hallway.

"SsSh!" he hissed and pointed to the kitchen. In curiosity, the redhead joined him.

"You take like this…" Kai was saying, and there was a sound like clicking. "And do this…be a bit imaginative. You can poke it in here and there. And for my favorite…" there was a sound like a can of aerosol being generously sprayed.

"Sounds like he's jacking off to me…" Tala shrugged. "I'd leave him alone if I were you…" he smiled and walked away.

"But someone's in there with him!" Bryan said through gritted teeth.

"Taste…" he heard Kai say, followed by the most delicious 'mMmMm!' coming from…

"Rei…"

And without another word, he turned around and went straight back to him room, expression stony and unreadable.

--

Kai was peeling peaches by the sink as Rei decorated his dessert with alternate scoops of peach and vanilla ice cream.

"Is it more fruit or more ice cream?" he asked adding a trifle more scoops of ice cream on top of Kai's sliced peaches.

"It's up to you…a lot of both works best though," he said, handing Rei the last peach.

When he was satisfied with the amount of ice cream and peaches, Rei topped it with a generous amount of whipped cream so that it covered what was under it and garnished it with the remaining peach slices and peach juice.

"Wow…" remarked Kai, seeing the finished product. "Looks good to eat, Rei…"

The Chinese boy smiled. "D'you think he'll like it?" he asked anxiously.

"He'll love it…" Kai replied, clearing the clutter in the fridge to make space for Rei's dessert.

"Hey have you two seen Bryan?" asked Tala, coming in. He stopped short when he noticed the mess on the kitchen table. "You two've been making dessert all this time?" he asked mildly surprised.

"Dah. Why?"

"Nothing…I just thought you two saw wherever Bryan might've disappeared to..oOoh! Strawberries and cream!" Tala squealed and rummaged the cutlery container for a spoon. "May I?"

Kai nodded as he handed Rei a spoon so that they too could eat.

"When did you last see him?" Kai steered the subject back to Bryan.

"About an hour ago. He passed by the kitchen on his way to the living room." Tala ate a strawberry. "I think he overheard you two…sounded like you were jacking off. I told him to leave you alone."

Kai frowned and Rei slowed down on eating.

"Did you actually see him leave?" Kai pressed, lowering his spoon.

Tala shrugged and took another bite. "No…dunno if he even did."

"The leafy bastard…" Kai took an extra big scoop of ice cream and swallowed it with difficulty. "Rei…seeing as I may be very unwanted within 30 feet of Bryan's personal space, I guess you'd have to do it yourself."

The neko-jin's spoon froze in mid-air. "What!" he was honestly hoping that Kai would accompany him.

"You can do it…" Tala cheered helpfully as Rei dejectedly opened the fridge and took out a gargantuan dessert.

"Woah…peach overload…" the redhead let out a low whistle.

"Wish me luck guys…" Rei said as he left the kitchen with the dessert and a spoon.

"Good Luck…" they said.

"Hey…" Kai wondered after a while of eating their strawberries and cream. "I he thought I was jacking off in front of Rei, why would he react like that?"

Tala's spoon slid slowly out of his mouth as he thought.

"Maybe…" he smiled slyly at the realization. There was a short pause. "It's a sign that Rei-rei has a surefire win. I always knew Bry had a thing for him…"

Kai giggled…something that Tala was powerless to resist. Nevertheless, the redhead successfully ignored it and looked thoughtfully at their half-eaten dessert.

"Hm…I wonder if you could make more of these. Spencer and Ian are still watching Full Metal…"

"Alchemist?" Kai asked. "You didn't tell me you guys were having a marathon. I've got bananas and banana ice cream, tell the guys I'll be out in a sec."

--

"Bryan?" Rei knocked softly on his crush's bedroom door.

"GO. AWAY. HIWATARI."

"Bryan, it's me…" Rei tried to keep his voice steady. "I've got food…you should eat…"

There was a small 'oh' and Bryan opened the door.

"Well…" he said uncertainly as the Chinese teen just stood there at the doorstep gripping his ice cream bowl. "Come in," and Rei was ushered inside.

"Here…" he offered the Russian the bowl and spoon, wanting to whack himself for sounding stupid, wanting to add something to fill in conversation…not just stupid 'here'.

"MmM…wow, this is great!" Bryan exclaimed, snapping Rei out of his thoughts.

"Really? Y'like it?" he beamed. He was so surprised when Bryan offered him a spoonful.

"A"

Rei dared himself to bite. He couldn't stop himself from squealing a bit. It DID taste good.

"Wow…that IS yummy…" he voiced out loud.

"Hn. It's like you never tasted it…" Bryan said sitting on the bed.

"I never did!" Rei replied, doing the same, watching Bryan eat.

"Then how would you know this would come out to taste so good?" he asked scrutinizingly.

Rei thought for a moment and decided to help Kai redeem himself.

"Kai taught me. He first demonstrated with strawberries and cream. Then I made it again, substituting the strawberries with peaches."

The other stopped in mid-chew. "Kai…taught you?"

The neko-jin smiled. "Yeah…" he paused but decided to continue. "Tala said you thought we were jacking off when we were making it."

"No…_he_ suggested that you two were jacking off…" Bryan argued, muddling up the info even further.

"Either way…it isn't it…" Rei said with a subtle finality. There was a silence before the lilac-haired Russian took another bite.

"Back in the day before he left, Kai used to make bananas and cream for Spencer and Ian after they got scolded by Boris…" he said reminiscently.

"He made Max strawberries and cream when he and Takao fought…" Rei added randomly. "From what I'm hearing, Kai likes making people 'something' and cream whenever they get upset…" he looked at the dessert in Bryan's hands. "If it were me, I'd have mangoes…"

"Mangoes?" Bryan looked at him. "Why mangoes?"

"I like mangoes," came the mildy defensive reply.

"Well right now all we have are peaches so live with it…" Bryan said and fed Rei another spoon.

LATER IN THE DAY

"Oh my god…that's the end?" Ian said disbelievingly, setting down an empty ice cream bowl amongst the many empty ice creams bowls on the table.

Tala sat on the couch unable to move due to a numb bum. Kai busied himself helping Ian with the DVD player and Spencer was looking around.

"Where's Rei and Bryan? I haven't seen them since morning."

Everyone stopped at the realization. "Oh yeah…" they mumbled in asset and began to mildly wonder where they were when suddenly they heard a laugh at the end of the hallway.

Tala almost fell backwards over the couch.

"What the hell?" he said, standing up, staring at Bryan's room which the laughs were coming from.

"Leave them alone…" Ian grumbled as Spencer took over Kai in helping him.

"Hn. Peaches and Cream." Kai remarked, standing by Tala. "Always works…"

…and the redhead tackled him to the ground and showered him with kisses.

"Mmm…life is sweeter with dessert…" the blue-haired blader moaned as they pulled away from a very chaste kiss.

"Life is sweeter with you…" Tala countered picking up where they left off.

Spencer and Ian exchanged perplexed looks.

"Uh…we'll go out and buy the gin and…uh…vodka…" Spencer said and took Ian with him out the door.

NOVEMBER 23

Knock. Knock.

"Kai?"

No answer.

"Kai…"

Still no answer.

Bryan sighed and knocked once more. "You luck asshole. I don't do this everyday…" when still no one answere, he sighed again. "Look…I'm sorry…and thanks…now will you come out?"

He stepped back a bit as Kai opened the door.

"Happy Birthday…" was his greeting.

Bryan smirked. "I guess you're exempted from giving me a present." He said as Rei waved to both of them from the living room.

"Pizza and vodka…hn. Not bad." Kai smiled as they joined the others for a long birthday celebration ahead.

**END**

A/N: hey…tell me if you guys spot something wrong with grammar or if there was a repeated sentence. I was watching the first part of Kai's battle against Brookie part one…


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